Thursday, December 21, 2006

They're All Named Johann!


this goes out to all the music geeks out there. i think you can relate to this dude REALLY well :)

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

this semester i taught an after school extra class. at the beginning there were 26 students and by the end it had shrunk to 13...but they were 13 awesome girls.

yesterday was the last class and i was supremely happy because, while the class was nice to teach, staying late at school was exhausting.

some gr 2 student came to me 5 minutes ago to ask if there was class today. when i said "no" their faces dropped in a look of dispair. and they said "oh no! we love vanessa class!"

well now, i don't think i've received a nicer compliment here. directly from the mouths of my students. This, my friends, makes any problems i may have here melt into the background.

also, I've received 6 christmas cards from gr 3 students who are graduating. more for my wall of love at home!

Thursday, December 14, 2006

two shots of whiskey

that's how my Wednesday evening started, no jokes. After a particularly mundane day at work (no classes, except for one at 3:30...staring at a computer all day) I met up with the ladies from volleyball for a "women's night out". They do it monthly, and this was the first time I was able to join them. I was picked up at my apartment and we went to a restaurant where there were a few bottles of beer on the table as well as one brand new bottle of whiskey. A big one. I've had very few encounters with that stuff. Mostly the smell reminds me of my dad because he enjoys a small glass of it every now and again, but the smell was always strong enough for me avoid drinking it. Then, during one of my more random nights at university I decided, after imbibing a fair amount of beer and/or wine, that an excellent nightcap would be whiskey, straight from the bottle. Hello fun times, hello hangover.

Moving on...all the ladies (and the one man there, the supervisor "GamDokNim") poured a glass and drank 'er down. Oh the burning. The secret to not getting hammered really quickly in Korea is to drink with tiny little sips. According to drinking culture, as soon as your glass is empty, someone will refill it for you. If you odn't want more, don't finish your glass. Unless you're with rowdy ladies and they peer pressure you into drinkin' 'er down. Which they did and subsequently, I did. But it was all good and ridiculously fun. This is the first time I've been out with a group of Adjumas (that means married woman, or old woman)...MAN, they party as much or even more than the men.

Naturally, we did what's called "Sam Cha". Sam means three and Cha means place, I think. The night starts at a restaurant where everyone eats and drinks. Then you move to a NoRaeBang where everyone sings and dances and (YEP!) drinks. Finally, the third place is a Hof (bar) where you sit and talk and...you guessed it!...drink. We did it all baby! and while it was all in Korean, it was hilarious. Those Korean Adjumas are somethin' else. I finally experienced Koreans freely belly laughing and being, well, kinda like me and my friends when we get together. I enjoyed watching.

I must say that without Yeong Min (young girl, 26), I wouldn't have been nearly as comfortable. Her English ability is pretty good and we have a lot of fun together. She understand my silly sense of humour better than many Koreans. Anyway, both of us are much younger than everyone else, so we stay under the radar a bit and just observe the festivities.

The funniest thing? One of the women took the microphone in the NoRaeBang, put it between her legs and proceeded to hump the air and other women in a very comical way. I saw a whole different side of Korea, let me tell you! Demure and subservient, my ass! These women are, no doubt, the kings of their castles.
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Guess who made it onto the Boseong Volleyball Association's webpage? THIS GIRL!!
Check me out!
Don't worry if you can't read anything. Just scroll to the bottom of the page. You can't miss me, I kinda stick out like a sore thumb. The girl right before me is Yeong Min.
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I forgot to tell y'all aboot the first ever Jeollanamdo Book Club Meeting. It was, in a word, ARSOME. I showed up a bit late, but there was still plenty of food and wine to be had. There were about 8 girls (no guys were brave enough...or literate enough?). We just sat around all afternoon and evening chatting about girl things. Some serious, some hilarious. Oh yeah, and we did talk about the book, for at least a half hour :P.

The book was called "The Girls" by Canadian Author Lori Lansens. All in all, I think it's a worthwhile read. It's about a pair of conjoined twins who grew up in a fictional small town in Southwestern Ontario. It was actually kinda fun to read a book where I recognized the area. There was even mention of the Museum of Archeology in London, which was actually pretty close to my apartment there. It's written as a kind of memoir by one of the twins, with the occasional chapter written by the other twin. An interesting concept.

Our next books are "running with scissors" and "prodigal summer" (which I happened to buy in Seoul in what I can only assumed to be a bout of supernatural prescience).
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I've been doing quite a bit of baking recently, preparing for the Christmas festivities. I had kinda forgotten how nice it was to spend some time baking cookies...it's been a while. I think the most satisfying things about it are a) the smell of my apartment and b) watching other people eat my food. Koreans don't really ever eat homemade cookies because they generally don't have ovens. I brought some to school last week and to volleyball today. They either really like them or are good liers :P

Well, it's just about time for another awesome weekend! I hope this episode finds everyone well!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Playing Chicken with Umbrellas (v2.0)

It’s raining today, and to be honest, my Canadian girl senses are quite insulted. The only wisp of snow this year was 2 weeks ago, and it was fleeting at best. By this time last year we had already had 3 snows days! I made Bonhomme, a Canadian snowman in Korea. I was hoping to resurrect him this year but noooooooooo! The temperature refuses to drop below zero. *sigh* at least I won’t spend as much money on heat.

Anyway, considering the rain, I decided not to ride my motorbike to school. Let’s face it, having a soggy ass is no way to start the day. Whenever I walk to school I inevitably pass crowds of middle school boys, whose school is in front of my apartment. On days like today, however, they aren’t really crowds of boys, so much as enormous umbrella monsters. I seem to be one of the only people who holds an umbrella in such a way so as NOT to impede my vision. Convenient, no? I spend my time trying to guess which way they are going to go, or if I’m going to have to yield to them. Mind you, yielding usually mean stepping into traffic (an action which bears its own risks, no doubt). Most of the time I concede to simply raise my umbrella slightly to avoid hitting theirs. Other times I’m forced to step off the sidewalk and grumble in their general direction. I suppose being a foreigner puts me outside their rules of rank whereby they would be obliged to give me a wide berth (and possibly bow) due to my superior age and position in society. :D Hmmm, I have to admit that they usually do give me a wide berth, but certainly not out of respect. I call it fear, or at least slight discomfort. “If we don’t go near the white girl, then she won’t try to talk to us.” Don’t worry, one gets used to it!
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I love this country, mostly because of the people I have had the pleasure and honour to meet. The latest example of the endless Korean kindness is from yesterday. The teacher in my Tuesday morning workshop decided that instead of sitting in a cold, smelly room, we would go out for lunch for our last workshop. w00t! We were also joined by the two teachers from my Wednesday morning workshop, which is why I am now free to write the blog (for the 2nd time).

Anyway, we all piled into a car, 5 women and 1 man. I told him he was a lucky guy. We ate lunch at the Green Tea Plantation Restaurant and then went to a different place for some green tea. Deeeeelish! During lulls in the conversation, the teachers sometimes lapsed into Korean, which I didn’t mind. Little did I know they were discussing a Christmas present for me! Before I knew it, one of the women had bought and presented me with some very high quality green tea. She did this right in front of me and I didn’t even notice. I’m so clueless! All in all, they bought me lunch and didn’t let me pay and then bought me a present! I guess I’m the lucky one, eh?
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Tales From Volleyball
Anyone who knows me well knows that I don’t get angry very often, but I do get frustrated, especially when there’s something that I can’t understand or learn in a relatively short period of time. Anyone who has witnessed “frustrated nessie” knows that she’s not fun to be around (ask my high school teachers). I believe my mom used to call her “Vanessa’s Evil Twin”, which naturally ticked me off even more. I love you mom, and guaranteed I’ll do the same thing to my children.

A few of the nasty characteristics of Frustrated Nessie are relentless biting sarcasm, impatience (both for myself and others), and a closed mind (no criticism allowed!!). All of these things are not good to have in Korea. Allow me to explain…

Volleyball is wonderful. I’m improving pretty well, but this week has been a bit tough so far. Why? Well, I’ve been pushed outside my comfort zone to do things that I didn’t think I could do (and therefore didn’t want to). Don’t get me wrong, I know that this is a good thing for me, and trust me, I like a good challenge, but it was the circumstances (namely the language barrier) which made it a little difficult. On Monday the challenge was spiking. I know I can’t do it, and I also know that the reason is because I’ve never learned how. Learning it in Korean makes it that much harder. I try, coach yells. That’s how it works. There’s a lot of yelling. Naturally, I don’t know what he’s saying, so all I hear is loud voices. Also, Koreans tend to not show facial expressions as much as I do, so it’s hard to read his emotions while he’s yelling. Enter Frustrated Nessie. I’ve got this Korean dude yelling at me to do something, but I don’t know what. My face turns bright red and I try not to yell back. That would be a biiiiiiiig no-no. Never mind the fact that, according to Korean social structure I am inferior to him in every way – young, female, a beginner player – but I am also foreign, which I think puts me right at the bottom. All I was thinking was “hold your tongue, don’t say anything, just smile and nod.” I at least managed the nod, but smiling was out of the question.

I finally realized that sometimes he yelled the same thing: “Gruhchi!” and that actually means “Good Job” or “That’s Right”. All in all, I learned a bit, but it will be a long time before I can actually spike a v-ball properly.
i just wrote a post. it was pretty good i think. i clicked "publish" and got the dreaded "error" page. now it's gone. maybe i'll re-type it once i get out of this well of self-pity.

Friday, December 08, 2006

"Only in Korea"

It's not yet 9 in the morning and already, I've had an eventful day. First off, instead of being roused from sleep by the interminably annoying beep of my alarm, I was prematurely awoken by the ringing of my phone. At 6am, one of the teachers from my workshop decided it would be a good idea to call me. Even though my mind was cloudy with sleep two questions were running through my mind...a) How did he get my home phone number (not my cell) and b) WTF?!?!?!

I mean honestly. Who does that? I guess I should mention why he called... this teacher is in my Wednesday afternoon workshop. He asked me to come to his school's festival and I told him I would check my schedule and get back to him on Thursday or Friday. Well, bless his soul I guess he was just too eager to find out the answer and called me AFTER Thursday but BEFORE Friday. Can't really hold a grudge against him for that now, can I?

After my morning grooming routine I headed to school and arrived to find a enormous brown box in my desk. Straight from the motherland. My face must've lit up like a Christmas tree because the teacher across from me was giggling. I'm not ashamed to admit that I physically hugged the box and caressed it a little. Thanks Family!

So, that about catches us up on my day today, but let's now take a few moments to delve into the past, as it has been quite some time since I updated. Let's rewind almost 3 weeks to a weekend in Seoul.... *wavy dream lines*

Well, the trip started with an uncomfortable 5 hour bus ride. We had the misfortune to be stuck on a regular intercity bus for the duration of the trip (instead of an express comfy bus). These buses are actually quite nice for a short trip, but fill it up with lots of people at the end of a work day and only let us out once in 5 hours...it turns into a hotbox of gross smell and tension. Anyway, we planned to arrive early evening, but we didn't take into consideration the Friday evening traffic, so we rolled in around 9:30. Our first destination was Itaewon, which is a very "Western" area of the city, built up mostly for the American GI's. I equate it with Torguta, the port city from Pirates of the Caribbean where there's filth and bar fights and whores. I had been there before almost a year ago with Bobbi and Carol, but it was during the day. Man is it different when the lights go out. We quickly found a place to stay. Three of us in one tiny room. The bed was built for two, but there wasn't enough room for one of us to sleep on the floor, so we ended up sleeping three on the bed, sideways. Think of the three stooges. That was us (me Carol and Mel)...stooges. Anyway, after getting a room we headed out to find some food. We came across a Canadian Bar called the Rockey Mountain Tavern and decided it was fate. Oh mercy it was fantastic. Not only was the entire place decked out in Canadian paraphernalia, but they also had....wait for it.... MOOSEHEAD!! *drools*. It was expensive, but so worth it. Oh man. Awesome.

The next day we woke up and started shopping. The place had literally transformed over night. What was a dark, prostitute-littered, drunken yelling-filled cesspool was now a vibrant, lively shopping district filled with all types of faces - white, black, asian, indian. It was great. The highlight for me was the used book store, at which we would've spent more time if our stomaches weren't grumbling with hunger. *sigh* We will meet again, book store, we will meet again.

In the afternoon we went to a different area called Insadong. It was much more traditionally Korean with lots of little shops harbouring souvenir-ish things. We had indian food for dinner and while the Chai Tea was more than disappointing, the Samosa made up for it. Insadong reminded me of Niagara on the Lake (at least my memory of it. Who knows what it's like now). The streets where bricked and not paved, traffic is shut down on Saturdays, people just walk around visiting stalls and window shopping. It was very culturally alive. We stayed in a much nicer hotel this time...no hookers to contend with. Late at night I was pretty much a zombie, but couldn't pass up the opportunity to go to DongDaeMun...an outside market and shopping mall that was open until 5am. NUTTY! We strolled the stalls along the streets and found some interesting things. I bought a new pair of glasses (only frames) for a cool $5. Sweet! they are blue with wide arms and the arms have a blue and white checked pattern.

After the 5 hour bus fiasco, we decided to treat ourselves to a train-ride home on Sunday. It was mighty relaxing. All in all, a wonderful weekend in the big city. One more interesting tidbit from the weekend:

When we were taking a taxi, the driver offered us a piece of gum. I was already chewing gum so I said "isseoyo" which means "I have it". He looked at me funny and then asked me, in korean, where I was living. I told him Jeollanamdo. Even through my foreigner's accent he could tell that I didn't learn to speak Korean in Seoul. I'm effectively learning "hick" Korean down in the south country.

Anyway, that's about it for my Weekend in Seoul..let's fast-forward to last weekend...and the party in Mokpo...*dream squiggles*

The event: Maura's brithday
The style: 1920's murder mystery
The character: Dina Diva

that's right folks, we had a full-out murder mystery party and I got the role of the lounge singer-turned actress. Parfait, non? Before I talk about the actual party it's time for...

Korean Hair Salon Misadventures
This is what I was going for:

I showed the stylist (no English) the picture. I immediately saw the confusion in her eyes. The events that followed were both hilarious and disturbing. She washed and dried my hair and then tried to get that particular type of wave using a round brush. I thought she was being pretty creative and doing a good job. When she was finished it looked alright, just kinda...big. As you can see from the picture, the waves are very close to her head, so to try to achieve this, the stylist pulled out the gel. After globbing a bit on my head she realised that this was not the way to go. She disappeared into the back and return with a jar of green...stuff. I can't even tell you what it was but the consistency was like mucous. Radioactive snot. It was gloopy and stringy and gooey and altogether NOT meant for someone's hair. She rubbed it around for a bit while I looked on in fascinated horror. A few seconds passed and me and Mary and Virginia realised just how hilarious this was. Eventually the two stylists were laughing too. The stylist recognized her folly and took me back to wet my hair and start again. I thought she was going to continue with gel, but no! Once I was back in the chair, she puts even MORE of this green ooze on my head!! Virginia ran to get my camera. Thankfully she did, because now everyone can see what was really going on...


hence the title of my entry..."only in Korea". Anyway, right after the video ends I said "Hajima" which means stop and pleaded with her to shampoo my hair. What is usually a 5 minute shampoo turned into a 15 minute cleansing. Oh mercy. Anyway, after that I just asked for wavy hair and the result was great. I looked good. Lesson learned.
Moving on. The party. Amazing. There were tons of characters there. I was the diva, there were many gangsters, a private dick, coppers, the mayor and his wife, bartenders, flappers, etc, etc. I somehow picked up a southern accent (although it was set in chicago). I think it was reminiscent of the last time i did a murder mystery. [O-Week 2003. Noah and I were a white-trash couple from the deep south. Heck Yeah!!] I even sang a little ditty at some point (after the murder). Big props to Mary and Crystal for organising the party and thanks also to Shannon and Richard for hosting. It was, dare I say it, the Cat's Meow.
This coming weekend marks an historic event: The first ever meeting of the Jeollanamdo Book Club. w00t! You'll be hearing about that!
Thank you for reading and have a happy day!