Vanessa on the Road: Beijing

Hola!

Before you hunker down to enjoy my latest sojourn, I feel it necessary to warn you that this one is a doozy...take a pee break first (especially you, Bern).

Two weeks ago there was a major holiday in Korea called Chuseok. It falls on August 15th of the lunar calendar (a full moon). This means that it falls on a different day every year. This year, we all lucked out and got a 9 day break. w00t! Here's a the epic story of what I and my good friends did:

Carol, Mel, Mary and myself met in the city of Daegu on Monday night (Oct 2nd) to prepare for our early flight out of Korealand. To our delight, "Love Actually" was playing on the TV in our cheap motel room. It certainly got us in the holiday (christmas) spirit.

Tour Day 1 (Oct 3rd)
After a ridiculously short flight (a mere 2 hours compared with the monstrous 14 hour ordeal from Canada) we landed safely in Beijing to start our whirlwind tour. There were 33 people signed up for the bing cities of Daegu, Busan or Ulsan were the token "country bumpkins".

Meet the tour guide

This is Peter, and his precious flag. Peter is a charming Chinese chap who is, I think, half nerd, half comedian and a whole lotta awesome. After he introduced himself, he introduced us to our green flag (our tour group's beacon of safety). He said we must consider this flag the most beautiful flag in the world. There will many many other flags, but don't get distracted. Ours is the most beautiful and we must follow it no matter what....possible unto our deaths. (*ahem* lemmings *ahem*)

Anyway, Peter was a fountain of knowledge and I learned much more from him than I would have had we travelled alone. He was also sensationally, awkwardly funny. He would plow through jokes and punch lines like he had a quota to reach. The result? hilarity. Seriously, I don't think he knew how funny it really was. God love ya, Pete!

Stop 1 - The Forbidden City
Our first destination was the Forbidden City. My memory is a bit hazy on this one because my senses were on overload. There were so many people. It was very much akin to Chinese New Year in Singapore, only on a much bigger scale. It was a national holiday in China as well as Korea, so tourists flocked from all over. I was certianly thankful for the flag.


Stop 2 - Tian'anmen Square
We walked straight through the Forbidden City, much of which was under construction, then headed into Tian'anmen Square, noted to be the largest public square in the world. I don't doubt it judging from the sheer number of people that could fit in the place.


After a delicious dinner (the food was awesome at every meal), we headed to our hotels as we were all wiped out. We were put up in a newish Holiday Inn which surpassed our wildest imaginations. I think, quite possibly, it was the nicest hotel I've ever stayed in. Here are some highlights:

• two large beds
• bathrobes and slippers
• enormous bath tub
• treated mirrors so they didn't fog up
• pool with candles lit on the tables for a nice ambiance
• steam room and sauna
• all you can eat buffet breakfast with every kind of breakfast food imaginable (HEAVEN! we just wanted to eat breakfast all day)

Tour Day 2 (Oct 4th)
Stop 1 - the Jade Factory
On our way to the Big Event, we made a stop at the biggest jade carving joint in the country (possibly the world). It was interesting to learn about the significance of jade in China. Among others things it's a symbol of status, supposedly good for your health if you wear it, and good luck. Naturally, part of the sojourn was to herd us into the government-owned jade shop. Meh! I bought some, it's pretty.

Stop 2 - The Great Wall
We had to travel abour an hour out of the city to get there. Obviously. I mean honestly, who would build a bog wall in the middle of the city? That's just poor planning. Good thing the Chinese are excellent planners! So what's so great about this wall anyway? Let's see, it's as long as the border between Canada and the US, it's really freakin' high, it was built over a mountain range and many parts that I could see were wide enough across so that anywhere from 7 to 20 people could walk abreast. People just don't build stuff like this anymore.

Anyway, the part that we climbed was well maintained as it is a tourist attraction, but there is much of it that's in disrepair (damn you natural elements and passage of time!! You destroy monuments and give me unsightly wrinkles!!). Needless to say, I bought the t-shirt that says

"I climbed the Great Wall"

Stop 3 - The Summer Palace
Huge like the Forbidden City, but a bit more remote and picturesque, the name of the area is self explanatory (I would hope). "Ornate" and "Extravagant" are two words I would use to describe it. Unlike a westerner's traditional idea of a palace - a huge building, lots of rooms and acres of open land - this "palace" is a walled-in area with many different buildings such as the concubine house, the sleeping house, temples, etc. Between the buildings, which are all pretty far from each other, are lovely pathways and garden. It's also on a lake, which adds to the awesomeness.

Stop 4 - The Kung Fu Show
Oh. Dear. God. After dinner we went to this kung fu extravaganza. It was a retelling of the story of a great kung fu master and how he went through a great trial/tempatation, but conquered himself in the end. There was no dialogue, just music and movement (kung fu!) as well as some narration on a screen. (side note: at one point the soundtrack sampled some LoTR from RotK - the part at the lighting of the beacons. I'm a nerd, but anyone who got the reference is also a nerd. mwahahaha!) Needless to say, it was jaw-droppingly awesome. The final task was for the main character to lie across 3 sharpened blades, whilst another dude lay ontop of him with a big stone block on his chest and stomach. Picture it: large stone on guy on another guy on sharp blades. Another chap took a huge sledge hammer and wailed on the block, shattering it. And it was all for real. nutty!

Day 3 (Oct 5th)
Stop 1 - The Temple of Heaven
The place can be divided into 2 parts. The first part was fantastic, possibly one of my favourite places on the tour. I suppose it's because it showed real Chinese, everyday culture and life as opposed to mass tourist-related areas.
Anyway, this first part was a huge park area where retirees went to get there morning exercise or to socialize. I saw people doing Tai Chi, badminton, dancing, massaging. I also saw small groups of men playing cards and dominoes, or just hangin' out. It was so...alive.

The second part of the temple was more along the lines of the other places we had been. It was a big space with roads leading to different buildings all of which were reserved for the emperor and his crew. I imagine his life was dulled by the continuous ceremony of fasting, praying, changing into the appropriately coloured robe (blue or heaven, yellow for royalty) and choosing his next concubine.

Stop 2 - The Markets
SHOPPING!!! There were a few people who signed up for this tour for the express purpose of shopping. At first it seemed silly...why go everywhere if you just want to buy shit? Silly me! It all became clear as soon as I stepped into the market. The shopping (variety of merchadise and prices) was riDONculous. You can buy so much stuff and pay so little for it - but you have to work at it.

I'm always a bit weary about haggling because I'm not really argumentative by nature. As soon as I get into it, however, it's no problem. In fact, I found out that I'm pretty good at it. I also realised that it's meant to be a fun little ritual, to be enjoyed by the buyer and seller alike. Here's a little snippet of how it works: (keep in mind that 100 Yuan = 12:50USD)

Buyer: How much is this shirt?
Seller: Today is a holiday, so I give it to you for a special price. Yesterday it was 680Y, but for you, today, it's 580Y.
B *looks insulted*: That's too much!! I can get it for cheaper from someone else!
S: Ok, ok! You give me your best price.
B: I'll pay you 80Y
S *looks appalled*: That's a joking price! You're joking! I have a family to feed. Now tell me, seriously, what's your best price. I can give it to you for 500Y.
B: That's still too expensive, how about 100Y?
S: No, no. The best I can do is 470Y. That's the absolute lowest I can go.
B: Ok, sorry, it's too expensive. I don't want it. *starts walking away*
S: Wait a minute! Ok, 400! 300!! 200! Ok, ok! Your price!

Pretty much the rule of thumb was a) don't pay more than 1/4 the price they first quote you and b) always walk away before agreeing to a price. Worked like a charm every time.

Stop 3 - The Acrobatic Show

This was more eye-popping feats of physical prowess. I won't go into too much detail, but suffice it to say that our jaws were unhinged the entire time, and I'm pretty sure I soiled myself at least once. I bought the DVD, so hopefully y'all can borrow it one day.

Tour Day 4 (Oct 6th)
This day was our free day which we spent doing more shopping. The previous day was just a taste of the madness that was to ensue. I had to buy a bag just to carry all my crap home in.

After a few hours of that, we headed to a place called the Hu Tong area, which is like traditional chinese "regular folk" housing. Thus far we had only experienced the grandeur of being the Emperor or one of his many bitches, but this time we got to see the life and social atmosphere of normal blokes.

Again, like the first part of the Temple of Heaven, it was wonderful to just hang out and walk around where all the life and party was. The area was quite busy because it was the full moon festival. So lovely. We took a rickshaw ride through the area...Mel and I felt pretty sorry for the poor guy pulling us around...we tipped him extra.

So that about sums up the experience. It was a wonderful getaway from Korea. It's especially neat because, let's face it, when else can I just hop over to China for a 5 day vacation? Of course, the trip was made even more awesome by the company I kept. No, I'm not talking about my sock puppet (although he is an excellent conversationalist), I'm talking about my girls! Thanks for a great time, Mary, Mel and Carol. Dare I say it...y'all are the poop.

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Some interesting facts about China:
It's shaped like a giant rooster.

In Asia, people tend to use the British word "cock" in stead of "rooster" which makes the aforementioned fact hilarious.
Beijing is the "adam's apple" of said giant fowl.
They keep the preserved body of Chairman Mao (first socialist fellow) in a Mausoleum during the day and then put it in an Earthquake-proof cellar over night.
China's army is 2.5 million people strong.
While there are child restrictions in major urban centres in Child (1 child per family) there are so many loopholes that there may as well not be any restriciton at all.
And of course, I couldn't forget... PICTURES!!